Arts and Cultrue

While studying for an MFA in film at Columbia University, Yoon created her first short film, “Mirror,” which focuses on the Korean beauty standards and the pressure that many young Asian people—especially young women—feel to live up to the impossible standards, as well as the lengths they will go to be considered by others as “beautiful.” Now, Yoon has returned with her thesis short film, “Motherland,” which may be her most ambitious work yet.

Shot entirely in South Korea during the COVID-19 pandemic, “Motherland” centers around a Korean adoptee, Leah, who has returned to Korea to find her birth family and, most importantly, her mother.

Although Leah is ethnically Korean, she was raised in the U.S. and does not speak Korean or understand the culture. That disconnect may resonate with many Asian Americans and immigrants in general, which was a conscious choice on Yoon’s part. Although not an adoptee herself, Yoon was raised in California and understands the cultural divide firsthand. She, like her character, is not fluent in the Korean language or customs.

The severance one has from their motherland is a central theme in Yoon’s film—not just a disconnect from biological family but from culture, language, and the idea of home. Searching for a place to belong may be all too familiar for many Asian Americans across the diaspora. 

In this interview, Yoon discusses her new short film “Motherland,” the meaning and inspiration behind it, and her hope for Asian Americans in the film industry going forward.  

Sophia Benz: “Motherland” is your thesis film, the combination of your work at Columbia, where you received your MFA in film. Prior to this, your short film “Mirror” received critical acclaim for dissecting Korean beauty standards.

Now in “Motherland,” you also focus on Asian American and Korean stories. Was that a conscious choice on your part to dissect Korean and Korean American culture further?

Christina Yoon: I don’t think it was that conscious. I just think it’s important for me to follow what I’m passionate about, what story is calling out to me, whether it’s Asian American or not, or whether it’s a social issue.

It just so happens that many of the stories I am passionate about are somewhat socially relevant to some degree, so I think that’s just kind of a coincidence. It’s just what emotionally calls to me the most. Once I learned about Korean adoptees—because I didn’t know about them existing in the numbers that they do until my mid-20s—I couldn’t forget about those stories, and I knew there was something I wanted to explore.

Sophia Benz: How did you come to find out about this topic and this issue?

Christina Yoon: I didn’t know anything about it until I moved to Korea because I had always grown up in areas that had a lot of Asian Americans and Korean Americans, and a lot of adoptees often get adopted to mostly white areas of the country, for whatever reason, so I had never met a Korean adoptee until I moved to Korea, and then I met a bunch at all at once, and I learned about their experiences and their struggles, and I became more aware of how many exist in the world.

Sophia Benz: When you spoke to them, what were the majority of their experiences like, or how did they feel about their adoption?

Christina Yoon: The interesting thing is it’s so varied. Like every single adoptee I’ve talked to, there’s no consistency. I’ve talked to a bunch of adoptees for the making of the film and for the writing of the film. Some are totally comfortable with their identity, happy with their adoptive families, and are more or less accepting of who they are, and then there are other adoptees who feel a little bit more divided internally and question their identity, and have more struggle with their adoptive parents growing up. So there are adoptees who had no interest in looking for their birth family at all, and there are adoptees who thought about their birth family for many years and have wanted to find and meet them since they were young children. That was really eye-opening.

Sophia Benz: “Motherland” is a gorgeous film that centers around a Korean adoptee named Leah, and she goes back to Korea to search for her family, especially her birth mother. What inspired you to make the film, not only on this topic but led you to write this particular film and in the way that you did?

Christina Yoon: They say that what’s most important for a filmmaker is to stay somewhat personal. So for me, I needed to find access to this character and into the story. Although I’m not an adoptee, and I have a lot of respect for the differences between our experiences, it’s not something that I will ever actually understand. That’s why I wanted somebody who was searching and wanting a deeper understanding of who they are because that is something that I can identify with as a Korean American who was raised in America, quite separated from Korean culture growing up. I definitely questioned belonging. Whether I belonged in the States, whether I was truly American, or could I be accepted for my Korean identity? These are things that I need to grapple with and just get a greater understanding of, so that’s kind of why I pushed the character to be what she is in the film: searching, digging, wanting to know who she is, and finding out where she came from. I mean, that’s what resonated with me the most, that emotional angle.

Sophia Benz: Yeah, I think that was one of the things that a lot of Asian Americans or Asian people growing up not in Asia could relate to, even if they aren’t adopted. That sense of, “Where do I fit in?” “Do I fit in in the States, where I was brought up, or do I fit in back in my home country, even though maybe I don’t speak the language?” I thought that was a really poignant part in the film when she’s obviously Korean, but she doesn’t speak the language, so people don’t think of her as being Korean, and there is that divide where the audience can tell that she is struggling to find where she fits in, not just because of her adoptive status, but because she was raised in a different country. So even though I wasn’t adopted, I really resonated with that, and the feeling of, “Where do I fit?” It can be a big struggle for anyone, so I really loved how you fit that in. So basically, when you made these decisions to show this type of struggle, were you inserting some of your experiences and experiences of other Asian Americans that you know?

Christina Yoon: What I did was I stuck mostly to speaking to adoptees and trying to gather those moments and those stories from them. But what I did end up writing was again scenes and moments that I could really feel for and understand, like everything with language. She looks Korean, the character is fully 100% Korean, but she does not understand a word of anything that’s being said, she can’t read anything in the documents, she can’t communicate, and even though I do speak and understand Korean to a certain degree, it’s very clearly not fluent, and so I wanted to show that awkwardness and feeling like an outsider because I really know that feeling and it can be so alienating. They may expect you to be one of them and then realize you’re not, and then they don’t know what to do with you anymore, and you don’t know how to feel about it. I wrote it knowing that it’s what adoptees have experienced, and there are all sorts of Asian Americans and Korean Americans who have experienced that to maybe to a lesser degree. Also, something that a few adoptees talked to me about was the experience of first arriving in Korea and feeling euphoric, like, “Wow, everyone looks like me for the first time in my life, I’m one of them, I belong.” And it’s this magical, surreal land. But then that dissolves into, “I don’t belong at all, I don’t understand anything going on around me, I don’t understand the culture, the language, the people, I’m actually not one of them, and the shock of that shift is something that I wanted to show. In my film, I don’t have Leah landing in Korea and experiencing that euphoria because it’s a short film, but I wanted that feeling of going through different landscapes of this magical new land for this character. That was why it was important for me to have different visuals of the countryside and cities because I just wanted to show how overwhelming it can be. 

Sophia Benz: On that note, you filmed this entirely in Korea, so what was that process like?

Christina Yoon: Well, we shot the film during the pandemic, so it was really tough. We flew out our lead actress and our cinematographer, and they had to quarantine for 14 days in a hotel before coming out, which was a huge commitment on their part. I kind of can’t believe they did it, but it just shows how much they wanted to be a part of this and work on it. Everyone else was Korean, it was a Korean crew, but this was very ambitious for a low-budget student short, with a lot of locations and extras. The countryside that we filmed in was a couple of hours away from the city, so it was just a whole endeavor that we had to do with very little time and money, and we had an amazing crew, but it was definitely one of the most challenging shoots that I’ve done.

Also, the weather during the summer is really not ideal in Korea because it’s very unpredictable. One day it was incredibly hot and humid, but the next day you’ll have bright sun, not a cloud in the sky. The next day you’ll have intense summer rain coming down, and we knew that was a potential issue, but we couldn’t push the shoot any later because of scheduling conflicts of our key crew members and our actress, and our DP. It was kind of now or never with this crew.

The film had already been delayed a year because of COVID, so it was like, “let’s just do it, let’s figure it out!” So we powered through and experienced all the weather problems. For example, the funeral scenes are rainy. And it was actually way rainier than it appears on camera. It was pouring rain for some of it, and that was something that we had to adapt to. I had to throw out my shots and come up with new shots at the moment because we couldn’t shoot in the exterior area that we wanted to that day because the rain would drench everyone and everything. So we had to scramble, but it ended up working out because I’m happy with what we got eventually, but it was stressful for sure. And then the biking scenes were on the hottest shooting days, with no clouds. We were just outside trying to stop cars from coming into the shot, saying, “Please just give us two minutes to shoot!” So it was an adventure.

Sophia Benz: Wow, that’s crazy! Because when you’re watching the film, you’re just like, “Oh, everything is perfect, everything is intended, this is exactly how it’s supposed to be,” and then talking to you now, I see what really happened behind the scenes! Well, in your mind, what was the reason for Leah, the main character, to return to Korea to search for her mother?

Christina Yoon: It’s interesting because I initially thought about what that reason was and to put it in the film and have it be a big thing to explain, but after talking to a bunch of adoptees, I got a sense that sometimes, something shifts internally or emotionally, and it can be as small as something that reminds them that they don’t know who their biological mother is. It can something that breaks them out of their everyday routine of life, and that can get them to go down the rabbit hole of researching. Or, it could be a big thing. A divorce could be losing their job or hitting rock bottom. It could also be that they were just presented an opportunity to go to Korea for cheap or something like that, where they finally decided to go. And because, again, it was all over the map, I didn’t want to paint the reason in the film in an overly dramatic way, that Leah is going because something in her life fell apart or she hit rock bottom. That’s the reason why I kept it ambiguous. I do think that there could be many reasons why she chose to go back, but I decided not to name them. Because for adoptees, it can be anything.

Sophia Benz: I really like that ambiguity, and I think it is very powerful in a way because the audience can insert their own reason or what’s going on in their life. It can be even more universal to adoptees who are watching it, they can insert the reason why they went to or want to look for their biological family. 

Christina Yoon: The initial reason that I didn’t end up putting in was that Leah finds out that her adoptive parents withheld some information or paperwork from her, and she finds her file, and she basically sees that her mother didn’t willingly give her away, but it’s a question mark as to why on her file. And that’s what the main actress, Tiffany Chu, and I talked about, that Leah got this new information that was withheld from her for her whole life. But it was a lot to explain in a short film, and it’s enough that someone would want to search for their biological mother, so I just wanted to leave it at that and follow the journey.

Sophia Benz: In a way, we also received an answer for why she was given up, and in your vision, where do you think her storyline leads after the film ends?

Christina Yoon: So I was considering turning this short film into a feature film, so I do know where it leads. I’m not going to pursue that anymore, just because I feel like I’ve done it in the short and I don’t want to rehash things artistically. But I see a relationship between her and her half-brother. I feel that there’s a connection there. He’s kind of a moody outsider as well, and it seems like he’s got issues that he’s working out, and they can relate to each other to some degree. They have the same mother, after all. In the initial feature version, I thought it was going to be about their relationship, getting to know each other and the conflict that they might have and the questions they have for each other, and her getting closer with her biological family, but ultimately realizing that she can’t actually seamlessly merge back in with them. That’s a fantasy. But at least having this half brother, that is a real relationship and a real connection.

Sophia Benz: As the viewer in my mind, that is what I wanted too.

Christina Yoon: Yeah, you don’t want it to be a sad ending forever for her. She got so close.

Sophia Benz: We kind of touched on this, but how does this story speak to the Asian American community, especially those who were adopted from an Asian country and raised in the U.S.?

Christina Yoon: I wanted to tell the story emotionally, honestly. I didn’t want it to be manipulative or overdramatic or trauma porn, as they sometimes say, because a lot of adoptees don’t see themselves as victims. Some do, sure, some definitely do. But It was really challenging to make this film because I wanted to ride that line where nobody’s a villain, but nobody’s also an angel. And there are societal pressures at play as well. But individuals are not off the hook either. So I wanted to show that sensitivity, where people may have done wrong and made mistakes, but they’re not evil. They do feel remorse. They are part of a larger thing, and I think Leah understands that, to some degree, because in the end, she respects what’s been asked of her, which is not to reveal herself to her mom. I think there’s growth and understanding that Leah experiences at the end as well, by choosing to protect her mother in some way. Also, for Asian Americans in general, it was really important for me to show that struggle of seeking a true homeland and maybe not being able to find it and not being able to fit in anywhere fully. And that there is still beauty to the complexity of that situation! 

Sophia Benz: That’s incredibly powerful. Going off of that, is there a main overarching message that you wanted to get across in this film?

Christina Yoon: I don’t know if there is a message exactly. Because it’s so complicated and short, one film can’t fully do justice. So I don’t think that there’s a message, necessarily, but I just wanted it to be truthful to the adoptee’s experiences to some degree. I mean, it’s never going to be exactly correct. Someone out there might watch this and think, “Oh, you got this all wrong.” But at least emotionally, I hope that anyone who watches the film resonates with the loneliness and the struggle and the confusion, as well as the ultimate acceptance and growth of the characters in this story.

Sophia Benz: I know from your previous conversations that one of your filmmaking goals is to highlight Asian and Asian American stories and creatives. So how do you hope to continue this, and how do you hope to continue to do this in future projects as well?

Christina Yoon: I am developing my feature right now. It is an Asian American story again, but like “Motherland,” it’s not really about the character being Korean. It could be any adoptee, you could replace it with any country. It’s not about her Koreanness necessarily, it’s more about the distance that she has from her culture. So in that way, the feature that I’m working on is similar, and it’s not heavily about the struggle of being Korean or being a Korean immigrant or anything like that. It’s a layer upon other things that are being explored. Specifically, religious guilt and religious trauma. That’s the next big passionate thing that I’m delving into.

Sophia Benz: Wow, I’m really excited to see that. And in your opinion, do you think that Hollywood and basically the American film industry have done a better job of telling AAPI (Asian Americans Pacific Islanders) stories recently?

Christina Yoon: Yeah, I think it’s better. I don’t think it’s good enough, but it’s the AAPI creative that has been doing amazing work and has been pushing things along. So, I think it’s really a credit to them. If it weren’t for their work, if it wasn’t so successful and lauded and then I don’t know how far we really would be, but they’ve kind of proven themselves. So it’s a really great time for other Asian American filmmakers and creatives to keep pushing that progress forward and showing that we can do great work that the people are interested in and want to see. Like I saw “Everything Everywhere All At Once” not too long ago, and it was incredible it was so skillfully directed and written and so moving. I was crying in the theaters! So again, that’s not a movie that’s only for Asians or Asian Americans. it’s just a layer to the context of the characters and relationships in the world. And I think I feel really hopeful that if we keep producing good work, progress will continue and get better and better. 

Sophia Benz: Yeah, as you said, there are multiple layers and infinite ways to do groundbreaking work. And now that “Motherland” has wrapped and has premiered at Palm Springs Film Festival, what are you working on now? You mentioned your feature film, is there anything else in the works that audiences should look forward to?

Christina Yoon: Yeah, I have some other stuff, but I’m not allowed to say so at the moment. The feature is the big thing that I’m going to be working on for the next year. I think I’m done with shorts for now, just because I want to push myself for the challenge. So I’m going to be writing and developing the feature and trying to get that made over the next probably two years to really push that forward. But you know, on the side, I’m doing TV writing, and that has been exciting as well.

Sophia Benz: And is there a place that audiences can stream or watch “Motherland?”

Christina Yoon: Not yet, unfortunately, and I can let you know when that happens. But because we just premiered at Palm Springs, we are going to other festivals, so I don’t think that the online premiere will happen until the tail end of that. So I can let you know about the next festival that we get into. But yeah,  I feel like online streaming might be a little ways away.

Sophia Benz: Okay, that’s good to know! Is there anything else you’d like to add?

Christina Yoon: Just to mention our lead actress again, Tiffany Chu! She was in a feature called “Ms. Purple” that went to Sundance, and she was in another feature called “Catch The Fair One” that went to Tribeca, so she’s a really great and versatile actress who did a lot of work to get here, emotionally. And she herself also is not an adoptee, so she did a lot of emotional work during her 14 days quarantined in the hotel to really get at the core of this character. Other than that, I’m so thankful for the entire “Motherland” cast and crew and the Korean adoptees who shared their stories.

You can find out more about Christina Yoon and her work at her website, www.christina-yoon.com.